The only Big Book some will ever see

I confess that I pull these topics off the top of my head most days. Sometimes, I am able to tie them to other topics I have shared on, usually, it is just random thoughts. This is another one of those random thoughts.

I heard, when I first came to AA that I needed to behave as I could be truly the only Big Book that someone would ever see. I’m still confused by this, especially since most people do not know that I am an alcoholic, let alone in recovery. Yes, close family and friends know, as does my medical team. Yet the broad public does not know and does not need to know.

So breaking down this phrase a little bit more, I take it as if I am supposed to behave as if God is my new Employer. I am to behave as if God is my director. I am to be helpful to others if I am able, and to pray for those that I am not able to help.

If I am requested, on those rare occasions that it happens, to help another alcoholic outside of the rooms, I am to give the information and to share my experience strength and hope with others, especially alcoholics.

I try, when working with strangers, to keep my alcoholism off the topic list, and yet to act with the best manners I can. This is a huge change from years ago. I was an entitled brat. The world owed me, or so I thought, and I was to be catered to.

Ironically, as the daughter of a hard-working man and woman, I was owed nothing. I had contributed nothing to society, and yet…

By working the steps, especially step 3, and changing my will and life, I don’t believe that anymore.

Today, I am just grateful to be alive.

That’s all I have for now, may God be with you in the fellowship of the Spirit.


Working on it

Admin Note: I will post study notes on Wednesdays, 6 AM Central Time US.

I have been plugging away at my notes, and I have been trying to survive the heat wave that has hit. It is one of those, it must be July in the Midwest deals that my Dad is always talking about. Today is going to be a scorcher. We are doing the summer time schedule, a siesta in the afternoon, and awake till about 2 or 3 in the morning.

The afternoon siesta gives me time to read. I am an avid reader, and have discovered recently that I have almost 4000 books in my e-books library. I wish I could say that most of those books were about recovery, but sadly, they are not.

I do have a kindle wish list, and the other day I bought a 99 cent booklet on working the traditions at home. I owned it for about 5 minutes.

Why only five minutes? It was only ten pages, and contained information I could have googled instead. I actually could have found the same information in my own website. Sighs. I wrote a customer review, and asked for a refund. Thankfully, Amazon’s refund site is a bit easier than most.

Why did I bother writing a review? I wanted to warn others of exactly what they were purchasing. There are many free versions of that exact same information available. Actually, the same information is available in the twelve steps and twelve traditions book. I’d rather put that same buck in the basket at a meeting, and not bother with the booklet. I made sure to keep my words to a minimum, and to not trash the author of the book. I also did not report the book to Amazon.

Why not? While the information did not help me, it may help someone else.

I still have to work the program online behind an anonymous computer screen. I still have to behave myself. I still have to live as if God is my Employer.

That’s all.

May God be with you as you trudge the road to Happy Destiny today.




Taking notes in a meeting

This topic can be controversial, especially in a tradition orientated meeting. There are some members who may try to stop you taking notes in a meeting. It has been mentioned to me, however, I try to protect the anonymity of those meetings.

Here is what I do:

I never use a keyboard to take notes. I always, if I am using an electronic tablet use a stylus. The clicking of keys can be disruptive to others. If using an electronic device, especially as my Big Book, Twelve by Twelve and other literature are found there, I make sure before the meeting starts to disable notifications and sounds on the device. I also make sure that the software I need is open and ready to go. I work hard to not be distracting or disruptive in a meeting.

On paper, the same rules apply. I try to be unobtrusive. I usually set out my pens and hilighters prior to meeting start, and I make sure that my notebook is small enough that I am not physically bothering others while I take notes.

The amount of notes I take depends on the meeting as well. In a standard meeting, maybe a page or two of notes will do. In a study meeting, I’ve sometimes walked out with pages of notes.

What do I write down?

Meeting date and time. I write down the topic of the meeting. I also write down any pages referred to by the members as the meeting progresses. I will write down a small quote during the sharing as well. Another thing I write down are my thoughts on the topic, as the meeting goes on.

For example: The topic is Hope in Recovery. The meeting Date is (today’s date) at (this time)

-> Pages 417 to 420 were read

–> What does this have to do with hope? (my thought)

*The chair person relates the reading to hope, and I paraphrase what the chair person said.

That’s what I do. Sometimes, I will write down the name of the members by what I wrote down, usually I do not unless I am trying to remember the member’s names.

Who reads this notebook? ONLY ME After a notebook is filled up, I will usually re-read my notes, look back at the topics and write about it for a little bit. However, unless it is something I need to question my sponsor about or add to my own daily homework, I usually burn these notebooks.

In the case of electonic tablets, I delete those notebooks.

That’s all I have for now, take care, may your Higher Power be with you in your recovery today.